Losing control

Losing control is always hard and scary the first time around. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed, but I do not expect over night changes. Nobody can change overnight and in the end I truly do not want you to change. I love you the way you are. What we are doing is play adding something to our intimate life if it works it works, if it does not work the first time, but is something you are willing to try we will try again. Who knows it might not be something that works for me and I might be the one calling uncle. We have been through a great deal together in 7 years and I cannot see going through something like this with anyone else.

I am not sure if you can give up control, but this is something that we will find out together. We could start by negotiating before the session and discussing what will occur. In the end as the bottom you are always in control and can always end the scene I will think no less of you for stopping things.

If we are both in the mood this weekend let’s talk about the first time and I will go over what the plan is. To be honest the first time will be mostly discussion. If you want I can provide you with what I am thinking of going over with for our first session and you can have time to think about it.

After looking and thinking about it if you feel you are not ready then you are not ready and that is that. We can discuss if you want me to bring up the subject again or if I should leave it alone and wait to hear from you about it or we should just shelve it forever. I am so sorry for not seeing this earlier.