Have you been naughty or nice???
Fetlife is having a wicked awesome contest.
Sit on Santa's knee and tell him what you want for Christmas.
218 presents, totally over $25,000!!!!
What are YOU waiting for?
Or maybe I shouldn't post this...more chances for me :D
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Journal Summary: August 19 - September 16
August 19/20 - Some shitty stuff happening on Fet. Not a good thing. Well, kinda. It is good in that it is making the community possibly a little bit safer. I can't wait to order my first corset.
August 21 - Went to the falls. It was fun, but didn't really do anything other than watch the fireworks. It's technically the last day of our vacay. The weekend will be busy. I did 30 mins on the Wii Fit today. Love it!
August 22 - Feeling a bit sad and frustrated. I think my piercings are migrating. We are going to head to the tattoo place to get them to look at them tomorrow. We have also purchased some things in the last few days. R bought my first collar. Just have to wait for it to come! I also bought a corset/skirt combo. Again, waiting for it to come in the mail. I am hoping it looks good, cause I want to get a red version to wear for my superhero costume!
August 23 - Back to work tomorrow! Eww! I am going to be working my butt off for the next couple of weeks. We went to the piercer. She changed the ring to a bar. Hopefully it will stop moving. I don't want to take them out :( I got confirmation that my corset shipped today! I hope it fits!!
August 24 - Well, it starts. Time to start the interview process. Fun times. God I hate this part of my job. BUT I get to do some overtime :) I am excited about going to the local tv station for makeover day. I hope I get picked! lol R and I decided to go to the Btown Munch on Wed. I hope it goes well.
August 25/26 - Just busy. Getting caught up, preparing for semester start up. We didn't end up going to the Btown Munch. I was exhausted. I feel bad. The collar left the States! I am excited for it to arrive. I wonder how I will earn it! R wants me to create a list of 10 scenarios to ask potential employees. iam going to have to figure that out a bit!
August 27 - I have started going through the resumes. Nothing promising yet. R and I went over some interview techniques. I am feeling a bit better. The coffee thing is working. Only 3 a week. R is surprised with how well I accepted this. He says I get something for being so good. I wonder what (as a side note? still waiting!!!). I feel better when I have things to do. I like knowing what I have to do at home. It makes things easier. Meal planning, etc. I really want to work on my database.
August 28 - R and I were bad today. We both left work early so we could come home and fuck. We both desperately needed it.
August 29 - Not much to report. Made cookies. Watched a lot of TV. My corset came. It fits fairly well, but the skirt is too small. My period is coming :(
August 30 - Made more cookies. Went to the BDSM 101. There are some smart people there. I also think some people should be doing some more research. I am excited to try new things. I can't wait for R to bring out the flogger. I am questioning how much of a submissive I am I am feeling a bit confused.
August 31 - Where did the summer go??? OH my collar came today! I like my name on it more than I thought I would. I am going to want lots more in different colours! So now I need to earn it somehow. I am sure R has something in mind. I am still trying to figure out our Civil War costumes. I need to get over the whole matching thing. I also need to find a skirt that I can wear with my corset.
September 1 - Well, my first flogging didn't go so well. I need to figure out a way to explain my pour memory to R. If I am focusing on something, I can't hear. If I am doing something, concentrating hard, and I am told something, I am going to forget it. It's like when I am reading. I guess not so good at the multi-tasking?
September 2 - Trying to figure out what to wear with the corset. R keeps talking about hitting an event this month. My main concern is shoes. My feet are so horrible. I have no idea where to buy good nice shoes for these kinds of thing.
September 3 - Crappy day at work. No one else can fix anything. We went out for dinner with A. We told her about our kink. It went well! Chatted for 5 hours!
September 4 - Busy day.
September 5 - Spending has to stop. We are going to start saving. Get rid of our bills. Save. Buy a house. I hate the basement.
September 6 - I need to figure out how to ask for stuff. I am feeling undesirable. R hasn't initiated anything in a while...
September 7 - We need to figure out communication stuff. We talked. Turns our R is worried about disappointing me. We did a small play. I want more.
September 8 - Tired. Busy. Just the beginning
September 9 - Not happy at work, but I am working on that. Hired my first student. We need a house.
September 10/11/12 - I think I want to put Nixie away for a bit. R doesn't seem to understand that I am not into this right now. I am so tired. I don't want to have to worry about making time to play, when I am worried about getting chores done, clean clothes, sleeping. Maybe in a couple of weeks.
September 13 - Did a lot. R and I had a talk. I think he understands that I am stressing over it. Next Munch tomorrow. Excited about straightening my hair.
September 14 - Went to munch. Had a good time. I think I am ready to go to more munches. I want to go to an event. We will see. I need something more for my wardrobe though.
September 15 - I am worried. I know everything will be ok. We can do it. I am getting used to it. I want to go over the bills. I need to have an understanding of where we are. I love him so much. We have survived worse.
September 16 - I am happy with whom I have hired. I am actually liking that part of my job. It went better this year. As much as I complain, I really do love start up. R and I have decided to do a townhouse instead of a detached. We feel it is a better investment, and a good first step. So we need him to keep his job or find a new one. If he does lose his job, so be it. We just have to postpone. We can do this.
August 21 - Went to the falls. It was fun, but didn't really do anything other than watch the fireworks. It's technically the last day of our vacay. The weekend will be busy. I did 30 mins on the Wii Fit today. Love it!
August 22 - Feeling a bit sad and frustrated. I think my piercings are migrating. We are going to head to the tattoo place to get them to look at them tomorrow. We have also purchased some things in the last few days. R bought my first collar. Just have to wait for it to come! I also bought a corset/skirt combo. Again, waiting for it to come in the mail. I am hoping it looks good, cause I want to get a red version to wear for my superhero costume!
August 23 - Back to work tomorrow! Eww! I am going to be working my butt off for the next couple of weeks. We went to the piercer. She changed the ring to a bar. Hopefully it will stop moving. I don't want to take them out :( I got confirmation that my corset shipped today! I hope it fits!!
August 24 - Well, it starts. Time to start the interview process. Fun times. God I hate this part of my job. BUT I get to do some overtime :) I am excited about going to the local tv station for makeover day. I hope I get picked! lol R and I decided to go to the Btown Munch on Wed. I hope it goes well.
August 25/26 - Just busy. Getting caught up, preparing for semester start up. We didn't end up going to the Btown Munch. I was exhausted. I feel bad. The collar left the States! I am excited for it to arrive. I wonder how I will earn it! R wants me to create a list of 10 scenarios to ask potential employees. iam going to have to figure that out a bit!
August 27 - I have started going through the resumes. Nothing promising yet. R and I went over some interview techniques. I am feeling a bit better. The coffee thing is working. Only 3 a week. R is surprised with how well I accepted this. He says I get something for being so good. I wonder what (as a side note? still waiting!!!). I feel better when I have things to do. I like knowing what I have to do at home. It makes things easier. Meal planning, etc. I really want to work on my database.
August 28 - R and I were bad today. We both left work early so we could come home and fuck. We both desperately needed it.
August 29 - Not much to report. Made cookies. Watched a lot of TV. My corset came. It fits fairly well, but the skirt is too small. My period is coming :(
August 30 - Made more cookies. Went to the BDSM 101. There are some smart people there. I also think some people should be doing some more research. I am excited to try new things. I can't wait for R to bring out the flogger. I am questioning how much of a submissive I am I am feeling a bit confused.
August 31 - Where did the summer go??? OH my collar came today! I like my name on it more than I thought I would. I am going to want lots more in different colours! So now I need to earn it somehow. I am sure R has something in mind. I am still trying to figure out our Civil War costumes. I need to get over the whole matching thing. I also need to find a skirt that I can wear with my corset.
September 1 - Well, my first flogging didn't go so well. I need to figure out a way to explain my pour memory to R. If I am focusing on something, I can't hear. If I am doing something, concentrating hard, and I am told something, I am going to forget it. It's like when I am reading. I guess not so good at the multi-tasking?
September 2 - Trying to figure out what to wear with the corset. R keeps talking about hitting an event this month. My main concern is shoes. My feet are so horrible. I have no idea where to buy good nice shoes for these kinds of thing.
September 3 - Crappy day at work. No one else can fix anything. We went out for dinner with A. We told her about our kink. It went well! Chatted for 5 hours!
September 4 - Busy day.
September 5 - Spending has to stop. We are going to start saving. Get rid of our bills. Save. Buy a house. I hate the basement.
September 6 - I need to figure out how to ask for stuff. I am feeling undesirable. R hasn't initiated anything in a while...
September 7 - We need to figure out communication stuff. We talked. Turns our R is worried about disappointing me. We did a small play. I want more.
September 8 - Tired. Busy. Just the beginning
September 9 - Not happy at work, but I am working on that. Hired my first student. We need a house.
September 10/11/12 - I think I want to put Nixie away for a bit. R doesn't seem to understand that I am not into this right now. I am so tired. I don't want to have to worry about making time to play, when I am worried about getting chores done, clean clothes, sleeping. Maybe in a couple of weeks.
September 13 - Did a lot. R and I had a talk. I think he understands that I am stressing over it. Next Munch tomorrow. Excited about straightening my hair.
September 14 - Went to munch. Had a good time. I think I am ready to go to more munches. I want to go to an event. We will see. I need something more for my wardrobe though.
September 15 - I am worried. I know everything will be ok. We can do it. I am getting used to it. I want to go over the bills. I need to have an understanding of where we are. I love him so much. We have survived worse.
September 16 - I am happy with whom I have hired. I am actually liking that part of my job. It went better this year. As much as I complain, I really do love start up. R and I have decided to do a townhouse instead of a detached. We feel it is a better investment, and a good first step. So we need him to keep his job or find a new one. If he does lose his job, so be it. We just have to postpone. We can do this.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Journal Summary: July 29 - August 18
July 29 - Did good at work. Not so good at home. Did some research on nipple piercing. Did my profile for Fet finally. I am thinking about our journey and what will be coming next
July 30 - We have figured out a punishment for me. Take my Internet away. Definitely a motivator. I am now 100lbs above what I weighed when I first met R. I am disgusted. The motivator worked, and we worked out. Now to keep it up.
July 31 - I must be bugging R in regards to my nipple piercings. I am scared and excited. I keep bugging him about calling with the questions, and figuring out our week off so we can make the appointment. I did good and worked out again. I did my arms.
August 1 - Today was busy. We went to the Farmer's Market in Milton. It was awesome. I can't wait to make food with what we bought. We went and hung out with the J's. Ate some yummy ribs and played some Wii. We are both out of practice. R called about the piercing. Found out what we need to know. The only concern is that R can't come in with me. So it looks like tomorrow I am going to have something to write about!
August 2 - We went to Shoppers to get the stuff we would need, as well as McD's and Costco (needed more pain relievers). Then we did it. See this post for the whole story. Poor R was up all night worried about me. I love him to pieces!
August 3 - The nipples are bugging me a bit more. But to be expected. I am taking some Advil to help with some of the aching. We went to SW's today. Not overly fond of her SO. Nothing really wrong with him, just not our cup of tea. They are my first flash by the way ;)
August 4 - Uneventful. We played hooky. I just wanted to give my nipples some more healing time. Did some dishes, I made some peach freezer jam. Boobs are doing good. I still can't believe I did it.
August 5 - They are healing well. R and I talked a bit today about our lack of play. It is amazing how much I already miss it. We need to figure out some things for while I am menstruating. I also want to look into meditation and see if I can use it to help with my anxiety.
August 6 - We are poor and sucking at the money management. We are going to see GI Joe tomorrow. We have decided not to go up north. We are going to do something like Taboo in the Fall.
August 7 - GI Joe was bad. I am excited about doing more events. I know I will get nervous but I am excited about seeing more. I want to do some more working out. I paused after getting the nipples done. I want to play, but scheduling has been a bit of an issue. Life seems to be good!
August 8 - I am getting good at flashing my boobs! Another friend has seen them. Oh where oh where has the modest me gone? lol I enjoyed the Farmer's Market in St. Jacob's. I am hoping to convince R to go again when we have our week off. I am going to try and stay up a bit later tomorrow night so that I can stay up a bit later for the Munch on Monday.
August 9 - I love the Wii Fit. It is so much fun, and it feels like a real workout. It is going to be so hot tomorrow. I am trying to figure out what to wear. I figure my legs will end up swelling so no skirt or capris. I had a nice orgasm this morning, now hopefully we can get some play in.
August 10 - I feel good today. We did more exercise. It was fun! We went to our second Munch. This one was much better as I didn't get sick from stressing out. We met some more people, had a lot of laughs and a few puzzling moments. My food wasn't as good this time but it just means I get to try more next time. I am looking forward to the BDSM 101 workshop. I know I am going to have anxiety. I really do need to find a way to fix it. I think recognizing it is definitely a start. Knowing what is causing it.
August 11 - R and I had a fairly good conversation today, discussing our wants and needs. I am not sure if I conveyed myself correctly. I don't know if he fully understands what I am wanting. What I am needing. we are going to work on our communication a bit more. We need to stop the misunderstandings that we keep having when we chat online. I am looking at the events going on in the area and I must admit that I am getting excited. However I am already starting to feel anxious. I really need to find a way to overcome it. I am really looking forward to the BDSM 101. I like the idea of a smaller crowd. I think that might be how I want to play. Small groups. When we have a house maybe we can have small play parties.
August 12 - We are contiuing our talks. I think things are going well. He is beginning to finally exhert some dominance over me. I sorta sucked him off last night. He said he enjoyed it, that I did a good job. He also had instructions for me for when I got home. It was good to have him do that and I didn't take very long to complete it.
August 13 - We meet Ray tomorrow. Not much else happened today.
August 14 - We met Ray. We went out for dinner. We had some good conversation. It was fun! We went to Wal-Mart after, to see if I could find shorts to wear under my dress. We ended up buying some pants to cut.
August 15 - We went to the Farmer's Market again in Milton. It was good again. It was nice and quiet in the morning. Then we went to a shoe sale. I am somewhat regretting my purchase, but they will work with pants. I am still owed an orgasm, but I am putting that off cause I want to go to bed.
August 16 - Wow. Today was pretty awesome. We met up with Vexx, Vamp and Xena. I think they may end up being good friends. We went to the Church St. Fetish Fair. It was awesome! I think I have some residual scarring from some of the things I saw. We bought two floggers. I think I might really enjoy them! I am glad that we have the week off. I am thinking we can get some play in. I have a beautiful mask and a glass dildo/butt plug. I am definitely going next year!
August 17 - We did some cleaning. I am excited and scared about going to the play parties. I am also highly anticipating my first flogger experience. I am glad we are waiting until the BDSM101.
August 18 - We went to the St. Lawrence Market. It would be better if we lived closer. I can't see going very often. We have basically decided to go to the Superhero/Villain party. I am excited! I am sure we will attend a few before hand since this one isn't until November. I wonder if we can hit up a Halloween one! I need to start figuring out my costume. I'd like to match with R, but that might not happen.
July 30 - We have figured out a punishment for me. Take my Internet away. Definitely a motivator. I am now 100lbs above what I weighed when I first met R. I am disgusted. The motivator worked, and we worked out. Now to keep it up.
July 31 - I must be bugging R in regards to my nipple piercings. I am scared and excited. I keep bugging him about calling with the questions, and figuring out our week off so we can make the appointment. I did good and worked out again. I did my arms.
August 1 - Today was busy. We went to the Farmer's Market in Milton. It was awesome. I can't wait to make food with what we bought. We went and hung out with the J's. Ate some yummy ribs and played some Wii. We are both out of practice. R called about the piercing. Found out what we need to know. The only concern is that R can't come in with me. So it looks like tomorrow I am going to have something to write about!
August 2 - We went to Shoppers to get the stuff we would need, as well as McD's and Costco (needed more pain relievers). Then we did it. See this post for the whole story. Poor R was up all night worried about me. I love him to pieces!
August 3 - The nipples are bugging me a bit more. But to be expected. I am taking some Advil to help with some of the aching. We went to SW's today. Not overly fond of her SO. Nothing really wrong with him, just not our cup of tea. They are my first flash by the way ;)
August 4 - Uneventful. We played hooky. I just wanted to give my nipples some more healing time. Did some dishes, I made some peach freezer jam. Boobs are doing good. I still can't believe I did it.
August 5 - They are healing well. R and I talked a bit today about our lack of play. It is amazing how much I already miss it. We need to figure out some things for while I am menstruating. I also want to look into meditation and see if I can use it to help with my anxiety.
August 6 - We are poor and sucking at the money management. We are going to see GI Joe tomorrow. We have decided not to go up north. We are going to do something like Taboo in the Fall.
August 7 - GI Joe was bad. I am excited about doing more events. I know I will get nervous but I am excited about seeing more. I want to do some more working out. I paused after getting the nipples done. I want to play, but scheduling has been a bit of an issue. Life seems to be good!
August 8 - I am getting good at flashing my boobs! Another friend has seen them. Oh where oh where has the modest me gone? lol I enjoyed the Farmer's Market in St. Jacob's. I am hoping to convince R to go again when we have our week off. I am going to try and stay up a bit later tomorrow night so that I can stay up a bit later for the Munch on Monday.
August 9 - I love the Wii Fit. It is so much fun, and it feels like a real workout. It is going to be so hot tomorrow. I am trying to figure out what to wear. I figure my legs will end up swelling so no skirt or capris. I had a nice orgasm this morning, now hopefully we can get some play in.
August 10 - I feel good today. We did more exercise. It was fun! We went to our second Munch. This one was much better as I didn't get sick from stressing out. We met some more people, had a lot of laughs and a few puzzling moments. My food wasn't as good this time but it just means I get to try more next time. I am looking forward to the BDSM 101 workshop. I know I am going to have anxiety. I really do need to find a way to fix it. I think recognizing it is definitely a start. Knowing what is causing it.
August 11 - R and I had a fairly good conversation today, discussing our wants and needs. I am not sure if I conveyed myself correctly. I don't know if he fully understands what I am wanting. What I am needing. we are going to work on our communication a bit more. We need to stop the misunderstandings that we keep having when we chat online. I am looking at the events going on in the area and I must admit that I am getting excited. However I am already starting to feel anxious. I really need to find a way to overcome it. I am really looking forward to the BDSM 101. I like the idea of a smaller crowd. I think that might be how I want to play. Small groups. When we have a house maybe we can have small play parties.
August 12 - We are contiuing our talks. I think things are going well. He is beginning to finally exhert some dominance over me. I sorta sucked him off last night. He said he enjoyed it, that I did a good job. He also had instructions for me for when I got home. It was good to have him do that and I didn't take very long to complete it.
August 13 - We meet Ray tomorrow. Not much else happened today.
August 14 - We met Ray. We went out for dinner. We had some good conversation. It was fun! We went to Wal-Mart after, to see if I could find shorts to wear under my dress. We ended up buying some pants to cut.
August 15 - We went to the Farmer's Market again in Milton. It was good again. It was nice and quiet in the morning. Then we went to a shoe sale. I am somewhat regretting my purchase, but they will work with pants. I am still owed an orgasm, but I am putting that off cause I want to go to bed.
August 16 - Wow. Today was pretty awesome. We met up with Vexx, Vamp and Xena. I think they may end up being good friends. We went to the Church St. Fetish Fair. It was awesome! I think I have some residual scarring from some of the things I saw. We bought two floggers. I think I might really enjoy them! I am glad that we have the week off. I am thinking we can get some play in. I have a beautiful mask and a glass dildo/butt plug. I am definitely going next year!
August 17 - We did some cleaning. I am excited and scared about going to the play parties. I am also highly anticipating my first flogger experience. I am glad we are waiting until the BDSM101.
August 18 - We went to the St. Lawrence Market. It would be better if we lived closer. I can't see going very often. We have basically decided to go to the Superhero/Villain party. I am excited! I am sure we will attend a few before hand since this one isn't until November. I wonder if we can hit up a Halloween one! I need to start figuring out my costume. I'd like to match with R, but that might not happen.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
My story
So....we have been talking about it for a while. I figured it would be done on our week off in August (17-21). Friday we started joking about it a bit more, and R said he would call the place on Saturday to ask the questions he needed to ask. He called, got his answers (one of them being, if he could be in the room with me - no, apparently against federal regulations). So he joked about taking me then, but we were going to a friends place in a few hours. We started getting ready to go out, and I looked at him, and I said "You're going to take me tomorrow aren't you?" and he looked at me, and finally answered "Yes".
Going out was a good thing, as it kept my mind off of it. I slept fairly well. Realistically, I knew that I would be fine, but I was a little nervous. Apparently Rich didn't sleep at all! He was worried for me.
We had to run a couple of errands in the morning, had some showers, and I procrastinated a bit. *grin*
Finally, around 2:00, we started our drive. I kept getting more and more anxious as we drove. We found some parking nearby, and walked over.
We walked in, and only had a few moments to wait, and then it was our turn. I told the dude what I wanted done, he gave me a form, and I filled it out.
I brought him the form, and then we talked about the process, and he asked if I wanted any aftercare products (I did - a special soap that smells really good and a sea salt spray). He asked what I wanted it pierced with - barbell, horseshoe barbell, or ring. I chose a ring, just because I felt it would be the easiest. I could clean it easier, and I felt that the likely hood of it catching was less. There weren't any ends!
So, after I paid, he called out to my piercer, Nicole, that she was up. She had me follow her upstairs. We went into a small room, and she started her prep work. She sanitized her hands, put her gloves on and then she sanitized all her surfaces. She had me come over to her. I was wearing a dress, that was empire waist, made out of t-shirt material, and was like a tank top type thing. It was very easy for me to just pull the straps down, and leave the *skirt* in place. She sanitized my nipples and then marked the spots. She had me look in the mirror to see what I thought. I said it was fine, it's kinda hard to tell if they were in the right spot or not. *lol*
I then laid down on her table. The back was raised, so that I wasn't completely flat. She put a clamp on my left nipple, asking me to tell her if it was too tight, as this would not be the most painful part! lol
She told me to take a deep breath, and she pushed the needle through, then she said I would feel a bit of pulling, as she put the ring in place. I thought to myself "Hey, that wasn't too bad!". She then brought out her tools to tighten the ring and place the ball.
She then walked over to the other side and place the clamp on my right nipple. Same thing, but DAMN, this side fucking hurt! I gasped pretty loud. I think it is partially just that you know what to expect, and your endorphins are kinda at it's peak! lol
As she tightened up the ring, I said to her "Wow, I can't believe I did that!". She said "You did good. There was no screaming or swearing." I am pretty proud of myself!
She had me go look in the mirror. I couldn't stop grinning, they looked great! I guzzled some water as I was dying from thirst, probably my nerves.
I walked back downstairs, and found R. He asked how I was doing, and I said great!
Apparently he was pacing the lobby, flipping through the tattoo's. Worried about me.
All in total, from the time I walked upstairs until we got back to the car, was about 25 minutes.
I didn't have a bra on, so I was bouncing a bit in the car. It wasn't too bad, but I definitely knew that there was something different.
For the rest of Sunday, and all of Monday, I took Advil regularly! It's not that it overly hurt, but there was an ache that was uncomfortable. I haven't had to take anything today. I get twinges every once in a while, but really, not as bad as I thought.
I know it depends on your pain tolerance, but I am pretty happy with how it went for me!
Going out was a good thing, as it kept my mind off of it. I slept fairly well. Realistically, I knew that I would be fine, but I was a little nervous. Apparently Rich didn't sleep at all! He was worried for me.
We had to run a couple of errands in the morning, had some showers, and I procrastinated a bit. *grin*
Finally, around 2:00, we started our drive. I kept getting more and more anxious as we drove. We found some parking nearby, and walked over.
We walked in, and only had a few moments to wait, and then it was our turn. I told the dude what I wanted done, he gave me a form, and I filled it out.
I brought him the form, and then we talked about the process, and he asked if I wanted any aftercare products (I did - a special soap that smells really good and a sea salt spray). He asked what I wanted it pierced with - barbell, horseshoe barbell, or ring. I chose a ring, just because I felt it would be the easiest. I could clean it easier, and I felt that the likely hood of it catching was less. There weren't any ends!
So, after I paid, he called out to my piercer, Nicole, that she was up. She had me follow her upstairs. We went into a small room, and she started her prep work. She sanitized her hands, put her gloves on and then she sanitized all her surfaces. She had me come over to her. I was wearing a dress, that was empire waist, made out of t-shirt material, and was like a tank top type thing. It was very easy for me to just pull the straps down, and leave the *skirt* in place. She sanitized my nipples and then marked the spots. She had me look in the mirror to see what I thought. I said it was fine, it's kinda hard to tell if they were in the right spot or not. *lol*
I then laid down on her table. The back was raised, so that I wasn't completely flat. She put a clamp on my left nipple, asking me to tell her if it was too tight, as this would not be the most painful part! lol
She told me to take a deep breath, and she pushed the needle through, then she said I would feel a bit of pulling, as she put the ring in place. I thought to myself "Hey, that wasn't too bad!". She then brought out her tools to tighten the ring and place the ball.
She then walked over to the other side and place the clamp on my right nipple. Same thing, but DAMN, this side fucking hurt! I gasped pretty loud. I think it is partially just that you know what to expect, and your endorphins are kinda at it's peak! lol
As she tightened up the ring, I said to her "Wow, I can't believe I did that!". She said "You did good. There was no screaming or swearing." I am pretty proud of myself!
She had me go look in the mirror. I couldn't stop grinning, they looked great! I guzzled some water as I was dying from thirst, probably my nerves.
I walked back downstairs, and found R. He asked how I was doing, and I said great!
Apparently he was pacing the lobby, flipping through the tattoo's. Worried about me.
All in total, from the time I walked upstairs until we got back to the car, was about 25 minutes.
I didn't have a bra on, so I was bouncing a bit in the car. It wasn't too bad, but I definitely knew that there was something different.
For the rest of Sunday, and all of Monday, I took Advil regularly! It's not that it overly hurt, but there was an ache that was uncomfortable. I haven't had to take anything today. I get twinges every once in a while, but really, not as bad as I thought.
I know it depends on your pain tolerance, but I am pretty happy with how it went for me!
Monday, August 3, 2009
The big event
So strange how the dynamic of relationships work Saturday night I had huge issues sleeping. I must have woken up six times in one night. I know for at least one period I was up at least for an hour I was worried. I was not worried about myself but about the process that Nixie was going to have done. It was my idea and I was worried sick. Funny thing is I had the process done to me before so it was not uncharted territory, but this was different.
If I am the one controlling the pain I probably would not have had as much of a problem with it. I was spun and jittery by the time we woke up in the morning. This was the big day and I would not even be allowed in the same room to watch over her. After trying to play at normal for the morning and doing some of the basics the nerve was worked up enough to go out and get it done.
We took a nice drive downtown and hit the site that we decided would do as was asked. Her first piercings and these were the ones that I wanted her to get done. First set with more to come as we have planned out the piercing that she wants and what I have suggested for her. On Sunday August the 2nd Nixie had her nipples pierced and my high was only followed by some serious drop.
I was exhausted due to my lack of sleep so when we made it home ate and fell asleep for the night. They look great in fact they seem to enhance and be something that she should have had from before.
If I am the one controlling the pain I probably would not have had as much of a problem with it. I was spun and jittery by the time we woke up in the morning. This was the big day and I would not even be allowed in the same room to watch over her. After trying to play at normal for the morning and doing some of the basics the nerve was worked up enough to go out and get it done.
We took a nice drive downtown and hit the site that we decided would do as was asked. Her first piercings and these were the ones that I wanted her to get done. First set with more to come as we have planned out the piercing that she wants and what I have suggested for her. On Sunday August the 2nd Nixie had her nipples pierced and my high was only followed by some serious drop.
I was exhausted due to my lack of sleep so when we made it home ate and fell asleep for the night. They look great in fact they seem to enhance and be something that she should have had from before.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Nipples!
I now have pretty (although sore) nipples.
I wrote a fairly lengthy comment about it in my journal, so I won't repeat it here. You will just need to wait until I post the next set of journal entries.
I will get R to take a picture so I can show you! :D So cool!!
And sore
Oh, I already mentioned that! lol
I wrote a fairly lengthy comment about it in my journal, so I won't repeat it here. You will just need to wait until I post the next set of journal entries.
I will get R to take a picture so I can show you! :D So cool!!
And sore
Oh, I already mentioned that! lol
Journal Summary: July 22 - 28
July 22 - Short entry. Talked to A about taking over my role at work. I need to talk to my boss about it. My brother's dog passed away. I am going to miss my beanie.
July 23 - I talked to my boss. Not going to happen. So I need to get my act together and figure out what the heck I am doing. I also apparently am prefering/needing intercourse before I have an orgasm. Just so much better. We had my nephews for the evening. They are so good! We had pizza and then went and saw The Hangover. Funny movie!
July 24 - LONG LONG DAY. We went to Wonderland. Ginger pills seem to work, which was great. Although, R and I both ended up not feeling well, we think it was something we ate.
July 25 - Uneventful day. R played D&D. I was given a list of tasks to do. I got most of them done, but I also added a bunch. I am a bit upset. Apparently R and I have a difference in opinion when it comes to "not late".
July 26 and July 27 - Cheating today. I did a crap load of cleaning. I felt good. Thinking about work, and the best way for training.
July 28 - R and I signed up for a TNG BDSM 101 workshop! I am a bit nervous, but I am really looking forward to it! I keep bugging R about my nipple piercings. I am badgering him. I need to leave it up to him, but the analness in me must know everything!
July 23 - I talked to my boss. Not going to happen. So I need to get my act together and figure out what the heck I am doing. I also apparently am prefering/needing intercourse before I have an orgasm. Just so much better. We had my nephews for the evening. They are so good! We had pizza and then went and saw The Hangover. Funny movie!
July 24 - LONG LONG DAY. We went to Wonderland. Ginger pills seem to work, which was great. Although, R and I both ended up not feeling well, we think it was something we ate.
July 25 - Uneventful day. R played D&D. I was given a list of tasks to do. I got most of them done, but I also added a bunch. I am a bit upset. Apparently R and I have a difference in opinion when it comes to "not late".
July 26 and July 27 - Cheating today. I did a crap load of cleaning. I felt good. Thinking about work, and the best way for training.
July 28 - R and I signed up for a TNG BDSM 101 workshop! I am a bit nervous, but I am really looking forward to it! I keep bugging R about my nipple piercings. I am badgering him. I need to leave it up to him, but the analness in me must know everything!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Journal Summary: July 15 - 21
July 15 - R and I had a really good talk last night, and I really think it was beneficial. I really enjoy structured days. I get much more done, and I feel good doing it. I know it pleases R when I do the list, and it pleases me to please him :D We also talked about what R wants from me ultimately. I love his idea for me. I am not sure how well I can make it work, but I will try. We went and saw HP because I was a good girl! I loved it, sooo good!! I can't wait for the last book :D
July 16 - Happy Birthday to me!! The day didn't go exactly as planned. We had a small/short play session. R gave me my bday spankings. He scared me at one point, and it freaked me out. We talked about it and sorted it out. I can't wait to do it again. I didn't realize that knife play would excite me.
July 17 - What a day. J and I talked. It was good. I explained why I was upset and I think we are good again. J and I decided to put on a show for each other/our Doms. I am excited and scared at the same time. I finally got to talk to Ray.
July 18 - R and I slept HORRIBLY last night. And I discovered that it is official. I can't handle the lack of consideration some people have. Oh, and we have decided to have a 3some...now to find our 3rd :D lol
July 19 - Veg day. It was a good day of cuddling. We had a good walk (but my hip hurt). We talked about our love and our relationship. How deliriously happy we still make each other.
July 20 - I love how our relationship is changing. We are becoming more, evolving, learning, growing. I am excited to see where we are going to go with this. How far we can take this. I love that I am growing, that I am becoming me. It makes me think about my job. About being a supervisor. I know I can do it, but should I be? I am forcing it. Is this why I feel like I have so many problems? I want something different. I don't like where it is taking me.
July 21 - I am starting to feel anxious over the start of the new school year. I need to talk to Janet, but I don't think she will/can do anything. I might start looking for something elsewhere. R and I have been more frisky lately, it has been fun, but I really need my hip/groin to feel better.
July 16 - Happy Birthday to me!! The day didn't go exactly as planned. We had a small/short play session. R gave me my bday spankings. He scared me at one point, and it freaked me out. We talked about it and sorted it out. I can't wait to do it again. I didn't realize that knife play would excite me.
July 17 - What a day. J and I talked. It was good. I explained why I was upset and I think we are good again. J and I decided to put on a show for each other/our Doms. I am excited and scared at the same time. I finally got to talk to Ray.
July 18 - R and I slept HORRIBLY last night. And I discovered that it is official. I can't handle the lack of consideration some people have. Oh, and we have decided to have a 3some...now to find our 3rd :D lol
July 19 - Veg day. It was a good day of cuddling. We had a good walk (but my hip hurt). We talked about our love and our relationship. How deliriously happy we still make each other.
July 20 - I love how our relationship is changing. We are becoming more, evolving, learning, growing. I am excited to see where we are going to go with this. How far we can take this. I love that I am growing, that I am becoming me. It makes me think about my job. About being a supervisor. I know I can do it, but should I be? I am forcing it. Is this why I feel like I have so many problems? I want something different. I don't like where it is taking me.
July 21 - I am starting to feel anxious over the start of the new school year. I need to talk to Janet, but I don't think she will/can do anything. I might start looking for something elsewhere. R and I have been more frisky lately, it has been fun, but I really need my hip/groin to feel better.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Journal Summary: July 8 - 14
July 8 - My nephews and SIL are coming down to visit. I am going to have to find some anti-nausea pills. I am frustrated with myself, as I have become increasingly lazy. And I am sick of making supper and doing dishes.
July 9 - R did some cleaning in the living room! :D Today was an emotional day. I got a brilliant idea to go to Sask. I was determined to find us a way out there. I got so excited. Then I got really disappointed when I realized that it wasn't possible. I think today would have been a good day for a spanking. It would have been nice to see if it would help me focus.
July 10 - I need to get my butt into gear at work. We had a mini-pot luck at work. It went ok. Dot was annoying, while R and I tried to nap. I got frustrated because she wouldn't leave me alone and R could sleep through it.
July 11 - I slept on the couch. I just needed away from R. I was just irritated. Dash got sick on the windowsill overnight. Apparently ants like cat puke. They crawled through the crack in the window, and swarmed the ledge. I got the hebbies just looking at it. We did get some play in. I had a very nice spanking. It was so good infact that it put me to sleep! I want to do some research on that, maybe ask some questions on Fet.
July 12 - We woke up early, then had some awesome sex, and we both promptly fell asleep again! We worked on some anal which was nice. until I shoved back and caused myself some major pain! Busy week at work, as two coworkers lost family members. We are going to our first Munch tomorrow!
July 13 - Short staffed at work. It's totally justified, but it does suck. I had a headach for most of today. We went to our first Munch today. I was a bit nervous, but everyone was super friendly! It's kinda cool to see so many like minded people. They are all really geeky, which was awesome! The only problem was that I felt like crap. I feel really bad that I made R leave early. I was excited to meet new people. I had actually expressed interest to meet a few people, but I only got to see one! BUT didn't get a change to talk! The Munch did hit home how inexperienced I am! :(
July 14 - I am feeling conflicted. I don't know who I am. What I am supposed to be. R and I finally talked some stuff out tonight. We have decided:
July 9 - R did some cleaning in the living room! :D Today was an emotional day. I got a brilliant idea to go to Sask. I was determined to find us a way out there. I got so excited. Then I got really disappointed when I realized that it wasn't possible. I think today would have been a good day for a spanking. It would have been nice to see if it would help me focus.
July 10 - I need to get my butt into gear at work. We had a mini-pot luck at work. It went ok. Dot was annoying, while R and I tried to nap. I got frustrated because she wouldn't leave me alone and R could sleep through it.
July 11 - I slept on the couch. I just needed away from R. I was just irritated. Dash got sick on the windowsill overnight. Apparently ants like cat puke. They crawled through the crack in the window, and swarmed the ledge. I got the hebbies just looking at it. We did get some play in. I had a very nice spanking. It was so good infact that it put me to sleep! I want to do some research on that, maybe ask some questions on Fet.
July 12 - We woke up early, then had some awesome sex, and we both promptly fell asleep again! We worked on some anal which was nice. until I shoved back and caused myself some major pain! Busy week at work, as two coworkers lost family members. We are going to our first Munch tomorrow!
July 13 - Short staffed at work. It's totally justified, but it does suck. I had a headach for most of today. We went to our first Munch today. I was a bit nervous, but everyone was super friendly! It's kinda cool to see so many like minded people. They are all really geeky, which was awesome! The only problem was that I felt like crap. I feel really bad that I made R leave early. I was excited to meet new people. I had actually expressed interest to meet a few people, but I only got to see one! BUT didn't get a change to talk! The Munch did hit home how inexperienced I am! :(
July 14 - I am feeling conflicted. I don't know who I am. What I am supposed to be. R and I finally talked some stuff out tonight. We have decided:
- We will keep moving forward with this. We will not give up.
- We are going to communicate better.
- We will both work on the lazyness.
- I want to figure out what Submission means to me.
- I would like clarification on meal planning.
- I am to keep my nails painted.
- We will slowly work on *converting* our life.
- If I feel conflicted, or if i think something is wrong, I will communicate with R.
- I will work on not questioning orders
- R will work on explaining certain things so that I understand better. Remember it is hard to turn off my intelligence! :D
- We learnt that I learn by seeing/visualizing not by hearing.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Online name change
R and I have decided to change my online name.
I won't post what it used to be, as it is something I use in my vanilla life.
Now that we are moving forward with these changes, we needed something different. We needed something that better reflects what we are.
I used BabyDoll on here, but it wasn't what I was using on other sites.
I will now be using Fair_Nixie, although Nixie is fine.
It is something that won't bother either of us, if it ends up being used in our Vanilla world.
It means Water Sprite in German lore. It is actually also a character in D&D.
I like it, and I think it could be an interesting tattoo.
I won't post what it used to be, as it is something I use in my vanilla life.
Now that we are moving forward with these changes, we needed something different. We needed something that better reflects what we are.
I used BabyDoll on here, but it wasn't what I was using on other sites.
I will now be using Fair_Nixie, although Nixie is fine.
It is something that won't bother either of us, if it ends up being used in our Vanilla world.
It means Water Sprite in German lore. It is actually also a character in D&D.
I like it, and I think it could be an interesting tattoo.
Virtual while sitting beside each other....
So, R and I were sitting beside each other on the couch, surfing the net when this started in IM....
**************************************************************************************
Real: Sure I can reach up and slowly untie my tie grabbing your hands and forcing them behind your back. I use the tie to secure your hands.
Real: Bending you over my hardwood desk.
BabyDoll: i struggle in vain...."mm please"
Real: My hand comes down on your ass landing a hard blow. My voice comes out harsh. "Stop struggling you know you want it!"
BabyDoll: *squee*
BabyDoll: "but it's so much more fun when I struggle" I turn my head and wink at you
Real: "Very true Pet" I reach around undoing the button and zipper to your jeans plunging my hands in to feel you.
BabyDoll: I try to buck you off, try to keep your hand from the sweet spot
Real: I use one hand to put wait on your back and the other hand tries to force the jeans down.
BabyDoll: I spread my legs...trying to impede you...moaning as my hard nipples, my breasts, press into the desk
Real: The hand on your back moves up and wraps itself in your hair jerking you back up off the desk and forcing you up against me.
Real: My other hand reaches into your top and clamps down on your left breast.
BabyDoll: I grunt against you, with the force of my head being pulled back, it turns into a wimper as I feel your hard cock nestled into my ass
Real: The hand caressing your breast moves up to wrap around your neck holding you steady as my teeth sink into your collar.
BabyDoll: My body freezes. I go limp. My brain shutting off. You know what your hand on my neck does. I moan as your teeth sink into my collar. My eyes close, and I become yours
Real: As you go limp in my arms I use the responce to get your pants down to your ankles remove my hand and rain kisses down on the side of your neck.
BabyDoll: I bend my neck, allowing you more room. I try to remove my top, wanting to be caressed, want your hands on my skin
Real: I reach up to help in undoing the buttons to help bear your breasts to the open air. admiring from over your shoulder how your hard nipples jut out.
BabyDoll: "Please" I beg, "touch me, I need your hands on me!'
Real: My hands glide down your side move inwards to your stomach then back up to cup your breasts my mouth still kissing and nibbling at your neck.
BabyDoll: I push my ass against you.Showing you how much I want and need you.
BabyDoll: I try and bend
BabyDoll: wanting to rest against the desk
Real: I push you back down onto the desk so that your breasts are resting against the unforgiving wooden surface your nipple brush against the wood bringing a low moan from you.. I force your legs apart with my feet and reach a hand between your legs lightly rubbing your thighs not quite making contact with your sweet spot.
**************************************************************************************
Real: Sure I can reach up and slowly untie my tie grabbing your hands and forcing them behind your back. I use the tie to secure your hands.
Real: Bending you over my hardwood desk.
BabyDoll: i struggle in vain...."mm please"
Real: My hand comes down on your ass landing a hard blow. My voice comes out harsh. "Stop struggling you know you want it!"
BabyDoll: *squee*
BabyDoll: "but it's so much more fun when I struggle" I turn my head and wink at you
Real: "Very true Pet" I reach around undoing the button and zipper to your jeans plunging my hands in to feel you.
BabyDoll: I try to buck you off, try to keep your hand from the sweet spot
Real: I use one hand to put wait on your back and the other hand tries to force the jeans down.
BabyDoll: I spread my legs...trying to impede you...moaning as my hard nipples, my breasts, press into the desk
Real: The hand on your back moves up and wraps itself in your hair jerking you back up off the desk and forcing you up against me.
Real: My other hand reaches into your top and clamps down on your left breast.
BabyDoll: I grunt against you, with the force of my head being pulled back, it turns into a wimper as I feel your hard cock nestled into my ass
Real: The hand caressing your breast moves up to wrap around your neck holding you steady as my teeth sink into your collar.
BabyDoll: My body freezes. I go limp. My brain shutting off. You know what your hand on my neck does. I moan as your teeth sink into my collar. My eyes close, and I become yours
Real: As you go limp in my arms I use the responce to get your pants down to your ankles remove my hand and rain kisses down on the side of your neck.
BabyDoll: I bend my neck, allowing you more room. I try to remove my top, wanting to be caressed, want your hands on my skin
Real: I reach up to help in undoing the buttons to help bear your breasts to the open air. admiring from over your shoulder how your hard nipples jut out.
BabyDoll: "Please" I beg, "touch me, I need your hands on me!'
Real: My hands glide down your side move inwards to your stomach then back up to cup your breasts my mouth still kissing and nibbling at your neck.
BabyDoll: I push my ass against you.Showing you how much I want and need you.
BabyDoll: I try and bend
BabyDoll: wanting to rest against the desk
Real: I push you back down onto the desk so that your breasts are resting against the unforgiving wooden surface your nipple brush against the wood bringing a low moan from you.. I force your legs apart with my feet and reach a hand between your legs lightly rubbing your thighs not quite making contact with your sweet spot.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Journal Summary: July 1 - July 7
July 1 - This was a long one! R had asked me to start thinking about what I meant when I said I wanted to give up control. When I first read what he wrote, it scared the shit out of me.
Then I took the time to actually think about it. Usually when I do that, when I have time, I calm down and realize that everything will be ok. I am mostly ok now.
I have not fully thought out the questions yet, but, I did want to write some thoughts on it.
I have come to the realization that I need to trust him more. I dislike how little trust I give him when it comes to putting my wellbeing into his hands. He will always have my best interest at heart. I know that it will always be for me to grow, or learn, or just to be.
I know that there are two areas that I will not give up control
I will continue to think about this, but I just wanted to get some of this out there.
July 2 - I felt an emotion that had been dormant in me for a long time. Jealousy. Not of R talking with others.
I am jealous of others experiences. I look at pictures and read stories and I hate it. I want more but I am scared.
I hate that R can give so much to others but doesn't with me.
I feel like I don't fit in. I am scared to go to the Munch on the 12th.
I feel lost and lonely.
July 3 - I got to see Momma J and Baby J today, as Daddy J was going in to get snipped. No more babies for them!
So I didn't get much work done in the morning. I worked my ass off in the PM. R left work early and I snuck out a bit early to go home with him. We ended up going to get Chinese for supper (YUM!).
We went to be at lik 730/800!
July 4 - We vegged this morning.
I had a freak out/breakdown. I am fat. I am having issues with clothing.
R was good and helped me feel better (eventually). I need to stop putting myself down. I am as pretty as I make myself.
We also went to the Ren Faire. It was BAD. It was so small. I need to find a different one to attend.
July 5 - A very good day. We got some play in. My ass was nice and sore (well, at the time....it didn't last very long). It was very good and I really enjoyed it.
I felt really productive as well. I got a fair bit done around the place and well, when I say a fair bit, basically I got off my ass and did something! lol
I just feel better today. I felted wanted and needed. I was able to serve R, even if it was just intercourse. I felt sexier (see: feeling wanted). I am sure that the orgasm helped.
It sucked that R had to go into work, as we could have had more fun!
July 6 - Busy day. I got a fair bit done, even though I am not going to get everything I wanted to get done over the summer done. R had a crappy stressful day at work. I didn't realize how much it was bothering him.
I decided to surprise him with a massage when he got home. It wasn't very long, but I think he enjoyed it. After, we got it on! lol But he does owe me ;)
I made yummy grilled cheese sandwiches for supper!
July 7 - And another busy day. I have discovered that I am not focused in the morning. I am much more productive in the afternoon. R and I have decided that we liked having sex everyday while we were on vacation.
... And then when we got home we were too tired! ROFL
Finally...I really miss my family. I miss seeing dad. I'm sick of always having to invite myself over. But I guess that is the only way we will see them, as they don't seem to be inviting us.
1. I would like you to tell me what control means to you?
2. You have indicated that you have given me full control do you wish to control when this control is used?
3. I need to know your hard control limits what to you is meddling too much or aspects that you do not wish me to control in your life?
The questions that I have put above may seem short, but they are going to be challenging questions to answer. I need the answer to these questions in order to assist us in moving forward. For things you are unsure of take the best stab you can at it I want to see honest effort on it.
To me total control can mean just that I may not control how you think but think on this for others it can and does often include things such as rest room break, when one can watch T.V, Use the computer and so on.
This is why I would like an idea of your expectations so that we are both happy with the results. I can and will take as much control as you give me. I have no issues dictating what you eat and when you do things or stepping back and let you run most things and take the bits that you wish me to control. We just need to establish what is what.
Then I took the time to actually think about it. Usually when I do that, when I have time, I calm down and realize that everything will be ok. I am mostly ok now.
I have not fully thought out the questions yet, but, I did want to write some thoughts on it.
I have come to the realization that I need to trust him more. I dislike how little trust I give him when it comes to putting my wellbeing into his hands. He will always have my best interest at heart. I know that it will always be for me to grow, or learn, or just to be.
I know that there are two areas that I will not give up control
- Work - It just isn't possible and I know (I hope lol) that he knows that
- School - I have no problem with him helping me decide how many courses to take, to talk out expectancies, BUT he is not to tell me when or how to do my homework. I need my concentration for that.
I will continue to think about this, but I just wanted to get some of this out there.
July 2 - I felt an emotion that had been dormant in me for a long time. Jealousy. Not of R talking with others.
I am jealous of others experiences. I look at pictures and read stories and I hate it. I want more but I am scared.
I hate that R can give so much to others but doesn't with me.
I feel like I don't fit in. I am scared to go to the Munch on the 12th.
I feel lost and lonely.
July 3 - I got to see Momma J and Baby J today, as Daddy J was going in to get snipped. No more babies for them!
So I didn't get much work done in the morning. I worked my ass off in the PM. R left work early and I snuck out a bit early to go home with him. We ended up going to get Chinese for supper (YUM!).
We went to be at lik 730/800!
July 4 - We vegged this morning.
I had a freak out/breakdown. I am fat. I am having issues with clothing.
R was good and helped me feel better (eventually). I need to stop putting myself down. I am as pretty as I make myself.
We also went to the Ren Faire. It was BAD. It was so small. I need to find a different one to attend.
July 5 - A very good day. We got some play in. My ass was nice and sore (well, at the time....it didn't last very long). It was very good and I really enjoyed it.
I felt really productive as well. I got a fair bit done around the place and well, when I say a fair bit, basically I got off my ass and did something! lol
I just feel better today. I felted wanted and needed. I was able to serve R, even if it was just intercourse. I felt sexier (see: feeling wanted). I am sure that the orgasm helped.
It sucked that R had to go into work, as we could have had more fun!
July 6 - Busy day. I got a fair bit done, even though I am not going to get everything I wanted to get done over the summer done. R had a crappy stressful day at work. I didn't realize how much it was bothering him.
I decided to surprise him with a massage when he got home. It wasn't very long, but I think he enjoyed it. After, we got it on! lol But he does owe me ;)
I made yummy grilled cheese sandwiches for supper!
July 7 - And another busy day. I have discovered that I am not focused in the morning. I am much more productive in the afternoon. R and I have decided that we liked having sex everyday while we were on vacation.
... And then when we got home we were too tired! ROFL
Finally...I really miss my family. I miss seeing dad. I'm sick of always having to invite myself over. But I guess that is the only way we will see them, as they don't seem to be inviting us.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Journal Summary: June 23 - June 30
Ok. So R wants me to start doing a weekly summary of my journal.
Right now there isn't much to put on here. We haven't been doing anything.
Here we go:
June 23 - I talked about starting to sew again, how I need to find a pattern for a skirt, maybe some jeans/pants. I also mentioned that a few friends came through on Facebook when I was down. They maid me feel a bit better about my real friends.
June 24 - We saw Transformers 2. It was good. I made a list of things to do over the weekend. I had an unsuccessful orgasm.
June 25 - A reminder to myself that I want to take my vacation during Grad week, not before, not after. I put together a calendar for the two of us, so we can start planning and making schedules.
June 26 - Rich took me this morning. He made a comment about me not getting off. I said it wasn't a big deal. I got new jeans.
June 27 - We worked on our photography challenge. It was fun. We walked around U of T. Later, we went to R's work and sat on the roof. We took pictures of fireworks. I think we need to work on them a bit. lol
June 28 - Laundry, dishes, loaded pictures for the photography challenge. I owe R some position demonstrations. I got to do some personal fiction reading today, which was nice.
June 29 - My period started. It looks like I have a 27 day cycle. I need to remember that! I got a reply from a chickie who helps organize the munch that we are looking at attending. It wasn't totally what I was expecting, but whatever. I am concerned with the direction our life is going. I don't know if this is right. If this is what I want. I am confused.
June 30 - Didn't do much. I left work early, I wasn't feeling well. I am still questioning this who D/s thing. I am lazy and I am having issues giving up my comforts, my needs, in order to take care of the research that R wants me to do. I want to do my reading. I want to do my TV shoes. I don't know if it is just because I am emotional right now or if I am making the wrong decision
Right now there isn't much to put on here. We haven't been doing anything.
Here we go:
June 23 - I talked about starting to sew again, how I need to find a pattern for a skirt, maybe some jeans/pants. I also mentioned that a few friends came through on Facebook when I was down. They maid me feel a bit better about my real friends.
June 24 - We saw Transformers 2. It was good. I made a list of things to do over the weekend. I had an unsuccessful orgasm.
June 25 - A reminder to myself that I want to take my vacation during Grad week, not before, not after. I put together a calendar for the two of us, so we can start planning and making schedules.
June 26 - Rich took me this morning. He made a comment about me not getting off. I said it wasn't a big deal. I got new jeans.
June 27 - We worked on our photography challenge. It was fun. We walked around U of T. Later, we went to R's work and sat on the roof. We took pictures of fireworks. I think we need to work on them a bit. lol
June 28 - Laundry, dishes, loaded pictures for the photography challenge. I owe R some position demonstrations. I got to do some personal fiction reading today, which was nice.
June 29 - My period started. It looks like I have a 27 day cycle. I need to remember that! I got a reply from a chickie who helps organize the munch that we are looking at attending. It wasn't totally what I was expecting, but whatever. I am concerned with the direction our life is going. I don't know if this is right. If this is what I want. I am confused.
June 30 - Didn't do much. I left work early, I wasn't feeling well. I am still questioning this who D/s thing. I am lazy and I am having issues giving up my comforts, my needs, in order to take care of the research that R wants me to do. I want to do my reading. I want to do my TV shoes. I don't know if it is just because I am emotional right now or if I am making the wrong decision
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
More Tasks more plans
1. I would like you to do some research and find an appropriate ball gag we will discuss its first use in the future.
2. Once a week I would suggest a Wednesday of the week I would like you to look over your journal and put something together to post on our blog. It could be a summery, some interesting event, or an updated thought that you might have put together based on your journal.
3. I would like you to create a brief report on when you think punishment is appropriate for a sub. I would also like to know your opinions on warnings and a list of acceptable punishments. I would like this list by July 4th I will follow up on June 27th for a progress report.
4. I want you to put together a play list to be used during our play. We will look into getting you some earphones that will block out outside noise so you can listen to the play list during play you have until July 15h to get this list done if you require songs that we do not have please advise so I can look into downloading them
5. Gorean slave position update
• You will learn the Bara/Belly position as per previous Gorean directions (http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/positions/bara.html)
• You will learn the Bracelets/Chaining position (http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/positions/bracelets.html)
• Ko-Lar/Collar you will learn this position (http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/positions/kolar.html)
• You may use this link for more written clearification (http://lara.dune.net/positions/positions.html)
2. Once a week I would suggest a Wednesday of the week I would like you to look over your journal and put something together to post on our blog. It could be a summery, some interesting event, or an updated thought that you might have put together based on your journal.
3. I would like you to create a brief report on when you think punishment is appropriate for a sub. I would also like to know your opinions on warnings and a list of acceptable punishments. I would like this list by July 4th I will follow up on June 27th for a progress report.
4. I want you to put together a play list to be used during our play. We will look into getting you some earphones that will block out outside noise so you can listen to the play list during play you have until July 15h to get this list done if you require songs that we do not have please advise so I can look into downloading them
5. Gorean slave position update
• You will learn the Bara/Belly position as per previous Gorean directions (http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/positions/bara.html)
• You will learn the Bracelets/Chaining position (http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/positions/bracelets.html)
• Ko-Lar/Collar you will learn this position (http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/positions/kolar.html)
• You may use this link for more written clearification (http://lara.dune.net/positions/positions.html)
Saturday, June 13, 2009
An interest in Wax play
Well we have always been interested Pet has been interested in this and playing with this when she was younger always burning candles and playing with the wax. I used to dip a finger in occasionally and earlier on we tried some very rudimentary wax play.
The other day I started looking into it again and doing some research funny enough last night Pet put it in her journal that she is interested in it. This means we both have the bug to give this another go and I want to do it right. I think I wish to start out small first spend not too much on it and make sure we enjoy it before I go full bore into this.
I suspect we can see if we can find some paraffin and Soya based wax and try using a double boiler type method to heat it up until melting. I want a decent quality nothing with colors yet, but maybe add a scent to it such as chocolate or something soft. I think I am looking at the perfect container to hold our melted wax and it was a gift. I am sure when it was given they had not idea what it might be used for.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Tasks
You will learn when we are playing to phrase your requests as questions in the proper format. You will see the format I am looking for in one of your training tasks.
1. Learn the Gorean Slave Positions you have two days per position. I will add to this list
2. I require a daily journal be kept electronic for my view would be nice, but a paper copy is acceptable. (We can discuss this.)
4. On Sunday of every week I would like the list of possible meals for the week so I can decide what we will be having.
6. It is expected that you will learn to deep throat within a month so on July 11th 2009 I expect competence
1. Learn the Gorean Slave Positions you have two days per position. I will add to this list
- I will do a review of all of your positions learned on Sunday of each week. I expect you to be able to perform them from mind. Practice makes perfect
- Learn Inspection position
- Learn Usage position & display Inspection position without referring to notes
- Learn Karta position and display former learned positions from past without notes
- I want thoughts and feelings kept in this book
- End of the day is the ideal time to summarize
4. On Sunday of every week I would like the list of possible meals for the week so I can decide what we will be having.
- If there is an event that will conflict with this occurring I need to be advised of this at least a day in advance
6. It is expected that you will learn to deep throat within a month so on July 11th 2009 I expect competence
- You will practice at least three times a week and I expect you to request just before practice. This should help to work on your ability to ask for things.
- “Can I please suck your cock so Your Pet can learn to deep throat?"
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Task 1
R gave me a task to complete today.
My ankles and lower legs have been swelling a lot lately (well, mostly every summer). I was feeling a bit down because we have a wedding to go to on Sunday and I wanted to look pretty in my new shoes.
R had me research Water Retention. I had to give him a report on the causes and possible treatments.
I think I did a pretty good job if I do say so myself.
R wanted me to do this because I was down. He wanted me to look at possible solutions to what was ailing me. This way I could start figuring out what was causing the problem as well as working to fix it.
It worked because it provided me knowledge. And knowledge is ever powerful!
My ankles and lower legs have been swelling a lot lately (well, mostly every summer). I was feeling a bit down because we have a wedding to go to on Sunday and I wanted to look pretty in my new shoes.
R had me research Water Retention. I had to give him a report on the causes and possible treatments.
I think I did a pretty good job if I do say so myself.
R wanted me to do this because I was down. He wanted me to look at possible solutions to what was ailing me. This way I could start figuring out what was causing the problem as well as working to fix it.
It worked because it provided me knowledge. And knowledge is ever powerful!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Wow.
Tonight has been one of the best nights.....ever.
I had been reading some yummy books while at work and talking to R about some awesome things (He mentioned he is in contact with someone about my collar!!!! *squee*). I mentioned to R while at the grocery store that I was pretty sure I was wet through my dress pants! Well, I think he got a bit interested! :D lol
When we got home, we put the groceries away, went to the bedroom, and started to play. I asked if we could work on my anal training.
We got down to business. I was nice and calm. My smallest plug went in like *snap*. I stopped fully paying attention to what R was doing. Turns out he had eventually gotten my biggest plug. Wow. he almost got it all the way in. We are both rather impressed with that. I finally reached a point and couldn't take any more. We were right at the end, but I kept tensing.
I thought we were done, but R decided to grab the anal beads. By this point I was dripping onto the bed. I do not believe I have EVER been that wet before. He put the beads in easy as pie. I got a few love taps on my ass *mmm* and then I was fucked.
Once R was done, I was told to count out the smacks. I got 10 wonderful hard smacks. I want more!!! (We are waiting until we are vacation, so I don't have to be careful about being able to sit)
R then took some pics (see below) and told me to go sit out in the living room while he cleaned up. I was to talk to Jenny. So, off I went.
We chatted for a bit, the three of us (why have we not ever done the 3way before??? LOL). As my endorphines wore off, I started to get a bit uncomfortable. After about 20 minutes, I told R they needed to come out!!!!
We went BACK to the bedroom. I was dripping wet again. The beads coming out were a bit uncomfortable. I rolled over to my back, pulled up my nightie, and started touching my skin. My belly felt so soft. R got into position between my legs, inserted a vibrator, and started running Mr. Hitachi around my clit. R told me to play and squeeze my breasts. This is the first time I have ever gotten pleasure when I played with my own breasts.
I eventually had the most amazing, powerful orgasm I have had in a long time....if not ever.
I can't wait until our vacation.
*grin*
I had been reading some yummy books while at work and talking to R about some awesome things (He mentioned he is in contact with someone about my collar!!!! *squee*). I mentioned to R while at the grocery store that I was pretty sure I was wet through my dress pants! Well, I think he got a bit interested! :D lol
When we got home, we put the groceries away, went to the bedroom, and started to play. I asked if we could work on my anal training.
We got down to business. I was nice and calm. My smallest plug went in like *snap*. I stopped fully paying attention to what R was doing. Turns out he had eventually gotten my biggest plug. Wow. he almost got it all the way in. We are both rather impressed with that. I finally reached a point and couldn't take any more. We were right at the end, but I kept tensing.
I thought we were done, but R decided to grab the anal beads. By this point I was dripping onto the bed. I do not believe I have EVER been that wet before. He put the beads in easy as pie. I got a few love taps on my ass *mmm* and then I was fucked.
Once R was done, I was told to count out the smacks. I got 10 wonderful hard smacks. I want more!!! (We are waiting until we are vacation, so I don't have to be careful about being able to sit)
R then took some pics (see below) and told me to go sit out in the living room while he cleaned up. I was to talk to Jenny. So, off I went.
We chatted for a bit, the three of us (why have we not ever done the 3way before??? LOL). As my endorphines wore off, I started to get a bit uncomfortable. After about 20 minutes, I told R they needed to come out!!!!
We went BACK to the bedroom. I was dripping wet again. The beads coming out were a bit uncomfortable. I rolled over to my back, pulled up my nightie, and started touching my skin. My belly felt so soft. R got into position between my legs, inserted a vibrator, and started running Mr. Hitachi around my clit. R told me to play and squeeze my breasts. This is the first time I have ever gotten pleasure when I played with my own breasts.
I eventually had the most amazing, powerful orgasm I have had in a long time....if not ever.
I can't wait until our vacation.
*grin*
Sunday, May 31, 2009
First piercing
I think we are going to move forward with her first piercing. I have wanted to have her nipples pierced for a while now I have started reading up on it again. My real worry is finding a good place as so far I have not really found a site rating. I figure I will google each store I am considering to see if I can find any negative comments.
She has very nice breasts and nipples so I think this should be a very nice enhancement. We will probably get this done just before our week off from work giving her some time away to get used to her new enhancement. I will do my research then book the appointment.
She has very nice breasts and nipples so I think this should be a very nice enhancement. We will probably get this done just before our week off from work giving her some time away to get used to her new enhancement. I will do my research then book the appointment.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Blogs I have found..
At first glance, I am really looking forward to reading these blogs....
I can't say for sure how good they are, but so far so good
Submissive Reflections
Slave Musings
Her Owner - Slave Musings' Owner
A Submissive's Musings
24.7
Intelligent Submission
My Dungeon - Love some of the photography
Dennis Najee's Weblog
Sirs Thoughts
I can't say for sure how good they are, but so far so good
Submissive Reflections
Slave Musings
Her Owner - Slave Musings' Owner
A Submissive's Musings
24.7
Intelligent Submission
My Dungeon - Love some of the photography
Dennis Najee's Weblog
Sirs Thoughts
Piercings
So, R would like me to list out our planned piercings.
Well, maybe I should do a picture post...lets see if I can find some pics!
Labia (I love the corset!)
Clit hood (not sure if I want vertical or horizontal)
Nipples
Belly Button (this is my reward for having a flat tummy when I get it!)
This would be awesome, as R is a Scorpio! :D
I think one day I will do a post of my tattoos! :D
Well, maybe I should do a picture post...lets see if I can find some pics!
Labia (I love the corset!)
Clit hood (not sure if I want vertical or horizontal)
Nipples
Belly Button (this is my reward for having a flat tummy when I get it!)
This would be awesome, as R is a Scorpio! :D
I think one day I will do a post of my tattoos! :D
Additional learning double post
What I did not learn that night but after if you have not figured out by my address we have come up with a title that is so much better than what I find most others call there subs/slaves. I could not see calling her whore, slut, or cunt like some others do. It might work for others and I have called her my little slut before, but it just did not ring right. I wanted something that I could use in public if I needed her to focus or obey without raising eyes.
I want to be able to call her something in public because eventually there will be some work done. By work I mean we have some long term plans for some piercings, tattoos, and a branding. I want to be able to harness some of what we build here in order to help her through all of this. The tattoos and branding will be something that comes down the road when we are both fit and ready. The piercings I suspect will come sooner. Not tomorrow or anything like that I want us to reach a certain point before I get her pierced. I will have my pet come back and post since it has been a while and in her post I would like her to list the piercings that we have discussed.
Figuring out a name for my sub was very important and something that I was thinking of on and off for a while now even before our session of spanking that enforced the need for it. Last night before we went to bed after our normal goodnights I said “Sleep well Pet”. After some silence she told me how it made her feel when I referred to her in such a manner and it confirmed that I picked the right name.
Last point of this very long post I learned what some parts of serving means to my Pet and it excites me to no end. I already knew that she enjoys waiting on me bringing me food and drink, but she has asked me to use her before and I have been hesitant I am not sure why I do that with her.
I know what I wanted and yet I waited and now that she has spelled out what serving means to her we will see how it works. Will she fly or will we flop who can say, but we will try. She has told me that she wants to serve me I can use her pussy, ass, or mouth when I wish to get off she wishes to try servicing me how I please when I please. What man would not be happy at such an opportunity I know I am giddy and hard at the thought.
I want to be able to call her something in public because eventually there will be some work done. By work I mean we have some long term plans for some piercings, tattoos, and a branding. I want to be able to harness some of what we build here in order to help her through all of this. The tattoos and branding will be something that comes down the road when we are both fit and ready. The piercings I suspect will come sooner. Not tomorrow or anything like that I want us to reach a certain point before I get her pierced. I will have my pet come back and post since it has been a while and in her post I would like her to list the piercings that we have discussed.
Figuring out a name for my sub was very important and something that I was thinking of on and off for a while now even before our session of spanking that enforced the need for it. Last night before we went to bed after our normal goodnights I said “Sleep well Pet”. After some silence she told me how it made her feel when I referred to her in such a manner and it confirmed that I picked the right name.
Last point of this very long post I learned what some parts of serving means to my Pet and it excites me to no end. I already knew that she enjoys waiting on me bringing me food and drink, but she has asked me to use her before and I have been hesitant I am not sure why I do that with her.
I know what I wanted and yet I waited and now that she has spelled out what serving means to her we will see how it works. Will she fly or will we flop who can say, but we will try. She has told me that she wants to serve me I can use her pussy, ass, or mouth when I wish to get off she wishes to try servicing me how I please when I please. What man would not be happy at such an opportunity I know I am giddy and hard at the thought.
What happened and where we are
Well this is all about learning and expanding one does not overnight know exactly what will happen even more so is true with our emotions and bodies. That night was no exception, but we did learn a great deal from it.
We learned that there is no way my Pet should be spank without a nice sexual build up first. Cold spanking does not work for her and should probably only be used as punishment for something very bad.
Number two while some people crave anticipation and love the build up my Pet does not, and instead stresses about it until it is no longer pleasurable. Short periods of anticipation work for now, but not long periods so we will play with that in mind at all times.
We learned that there is no way my Pet should be spank without a nice sexual build up first. Cold spanking does not work for her and should probably only be used as punishment for something very bad.
Number two while some people crave anticipation and love the build up my Pet does not, and instead stresses about it until it is no longer pleasurable. Short periods of anticipation work for now, but not long periods so we will play with that in mind at all times.
Monday, May 4, 2009
The switch has been thrown!
I love you for all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will become. I am not sure if there is anything about you that I do not love.
You are perfectly right in asking me to help you reach this point of release and spank you. I did not fully know how much you would need, but I knew that you wanted it and have been waiting and pushing you in different ways to see if you would ask for release. My failing was in not realizing that no matter what I did or how I left you that you were stronger than that.
We will discover together what positions will work for you and while I was unsure earlier this evening that this would happen I suspect you do still need it. I will hold you again as you cry and I will remind you to breathe while telling you how much I love you.
You are right in asking I have been waiting seven years for the answer to my question and you’re asking for this I think has answered my question. I do need to set boundaries for you and I need to make decisions that will server both of our interests. I will love you curling up at my feet and I am already planning a trip out for us to purchase a cushion to assist with that. You can curl up at me feet anytime anywhere I do not care if we have guests or not if they do not like it then they can leave and if we are at their house and they have issues with it then we will leave.
You are MINE and eventually we will both understand what that means. I know tonight did not turn out initially as you planned, but I think we have gained a great deal out of it. Everything will be worked out and I do not expect you to be like any other sub because you are mine.
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