Journal Summary: July 8 - 14

July 8 - My nephews and SIL are coming down to visit. I am going to have to find some anti-nausea pills. I am frustrated with myself, as I have become increasingly lazy. And I am sick of making supper and doing dishes.

July 9 - R did some cleaning in the living room! :D Today was an emotional day. I got a brilliant idea to go to Sask. I was determined to find us a way out there. I got so excited. Then I got really disappointed when I realized that it wasn't possible. I think today would have been a good day for a spanking. It would have been nice to see if it would help me focus.

July 10 - I need to get my butt into gear at work. We had a mini-pot luck at work. It went ok. Dot was annoying, while R and I tried to nap. I got frustrated because she wouldn't leave me alone and R could sleep through it.

July 11 - I slept on the couch. I just needed away from R. I was just irritated. Dash got sick on the windowsill overnight. Apparently ants like cat puke. They crawled through the crack in the window, and swarmed the ledge. I got the hebbies just looking at it. We did get some play in. I had a very nice spanking. It was so good infact that it put me to sleep! I want to do some research on that, maybe ask some questions on Fet.

July 12 - We woke up early, then had some awesome sex, and we both promptly fell asleep again! We worked on some anal which was nice. until I shoved back and caused myself some major pain! Busy week at work, as two coworkers lost family members. We are going to our first Munch tomorrow!

July 13 - Short staffed at work. It's totally justified, but it does suck. I had a headach for most of today. We went to our first Munch today. I was a bit nervous, but everyone was super friendly! It's kinda cool to see so many like minded people. They are all really geeky, which was awesome! The only problem was that I felt like crap. I feel really bad that I made R leave early. I was excited to meet new people. I had actually expressed interest to meet a few people, but I only got to see one! BUT didn't get a change to talk! The Munch did hit home how inexperienced I am! :(

July 14 - I am feeling conflicted. I don't know who I am. What I am supposed to be. R and I finally talked some stuff out tonight. We have decided:

• We will keep moving forward with this. We will not give up.
• We are going to communicate better.
• We will both work on the lazyness.
• I want to figure out what Submission means to me.
• I would like clarification on meal planning.
• I am to keep my nails painted.
• We will slowly work on *converting* our life.
• If I feel conflicted, or if i think something is wrong, I will communicate with R.
• I will work on not questioning orders
• R will work on explaining certain things so that I understand better. Remember it is hard to turn off my intelligence! :D
• We learnt that I learn by seeing/visualizing not by hearing.